Temporary
by Antigo
Summary: Chapter 2: Graduation Flower. Azusa's introspection of what she feels towards Yui.
1. Temporary

Getting old is tough.

Days keep dragging on, and the hours aren't getting any longer. 24 hours doesn't seem to be enough anymore.

Graduation isn't the end. That's what we keep telling ourselves. There isn't really any problem anymore since everything seems to have resolved itself.

We're all still going to be together in college. Azusa won't be alone in the club anymore with both Jun and Ui joining.

But still, there's still a part of me that's leaving something behind that's making me feel nostalgic.

Man, getting old makes me think of complicated, angsty feelings.

"What are you thinking about?"

She looked at me dubiously as if seeing me for the first time.

"Nothing important"

She switched the lights off and moved towards my bed. I reached for her as we fell on my bed.

"It's rare to see you with such a serious face." She teased. I pulled her closer against me.

I felt her ear against my chest as I chuckled. "Just thinking"

She was silent as if asking me to continue. I wished she let it go. So I pretended to go to sleep. She was persistent.

She moved beside me and lay a hand on my stomach. She knows how I can't sleep well without her laying on my chest.

I sighed, giving in. Man, I'm never good with being honest with my feelings.

"I guess I'm a little nervous" I touched the hand on my stomach.

"You know, going to college and all that. But who's not, right? Everyone gets to feel this. But I'm a different case, you know. 'cause I'll have my best friends with me along the way. But still, I feel a little lonely knowing we'll be off to an unfamiliar place.

"Leaving all of this here. The clubroom, Sawako-sensei, and Azusa would still be here. And I don't want any of those drifting apart. College is an unfamiliar ground for me.

"What will happen to us when we get there? Will we still be together? Won't our schedules be different? Won't we have enough time to spend together?

"And, Mio, you- I just-

I turned my head to look at her. She's been staring at me the whole time, and I feel a little embarrassed of how stupid I must have sound.

Her beautiful grey eyes closed as she moved forward to kiss my shoulder.

I can't bear to speak as I watched her clutch my arm against her soft chest. She's being adorably clingy again.

"Mio, I don't want you-

"Ritsu," She whispered my name, thankfully saving me from continuing my embarrassing speech.

She reassuringly reminded me of what I already know.

"Azusa has Ui and Jun looking after her. We left the clubroom in good hands. The songs we recorded will always be there for the next members to come. Sawako-sensei will make sure everything is going smoothly. Have a little faith in them."

I know all that.

But hearing her say that out loud made me a feel a little bit at ease.

"And Ritsu," She held my arm tighter. Emphasizing how her next words were very important.

"I can't promise you that all of us will be together forever. I know it's a little mean, but I'm trying to be real.

"I can tell you, Ritsu, that whatever happens, we'll still be together. Everything right now, and in the future, will only make us stronger. There will be a lot of challenges, but I swear, I'll stand by you."

Leave it to Mio to speak a cliché one-liner but still make your heart race.

I honestly didn't know what to say. So I responded to her honesty with how I always do.

"You're right. No matter what I do, I always end up stuck with you." I joked.

If she was expecting a heartfelt response, she masked it with a giggle.

She's right though. Mio never disappointed me. I should trust her with this. With us.

Even though I said all those things, she managed to get what's really bothering me.

I don't want this to end. I want her. I want to be with her even after we graduate.

I love her.

I just wish that she knows that. It's a little too soon for me to tell her, but I really do love her. It's not how everybody says. It's not just a phase of going to an all-girls' school. These feelings are real.

It may be selfish of me but I wish that her feelings towards me are in par of mine.

She moved back on top of me after placing a soft kiss on my lips. I pulled her close against my chest as i kissed the top of her head.

Nobody can deprive us of this contentment.


	2. Graduation Flower

I wanted to be the one to hand you the flower.

The one to personally pin it to your blouse where it would be proudly shown off.

The first one to congratulate you of your success.

But when I was looking for you, you weren't there.

I don't know if I should be thankful for your tardiness because I don't know if I'll be able to be honest with you.

You came too late as I have already pinned mine to an unknown upperclassman.

I congratulated her in your stead. With a smile albeit sincere, lacking the feelings I was planning on only showing you.

I should be happy for you. You've done what was expected of you. But knowing you, that is considered as a lot. So I should be proud of your achievement.

But seeing all of you leaving me all at once just doesn't give me any assurance of the future.

I am selfish. I don't want to be alone. What will I do without you?

Don't leave me.

I hastily masked my worries back in the clubroom.

I formally handed you the congratulatory letters I have written. I was dishonest and shy so I've only written what I perceive as 'proper'.

I'm not one to be honest. That was your part of the relationship.

I saw the flower sitting on the desk, beside you. I cringed.

I moved to place my bag on the couch. I saw the cylindrical containers holding your diplomas. I finally broke down.

You were fast to approach me, comfort me. You reassured me, and I believed you for a moment.

You played a song for me. I was speechless.

It was bittersweet.

The song didn't convince me at all. It only proved how much I would miss you even more.

The flower on the table caught my eye as you played the song for me. It irked me for some reason. Knowing that I was not able to give mine to you. Knowing that the flower you have is given by someone else.

I wasn't able to tell you how I really feel about you.

How you were so warm and sweet. How I love the way you smell like pastries all the time because of how frequent Ui bakes at home. How you were the only one who can bring out these confusing feelings from me. How I like the way you pamper me. How we fit each other like matching puzzle pieces when you hug me.

Everything was like that flower I never gave to you.


End file.
